A Message from 'Ah Long'

Around 5pm today I was jogging with a friend in Bukit Kiara when I received a call from my mom. She sounded frentic.

"Come back now, somebody put glue into the keyhole of the padlock on the front gate! Now I cannot open the lock!"

"Who put glue into the padlock? Have you called the locksmith?"

"I think it's some naughty kids. Anyhow, come back now and help me to get the lock fixed!"

I was agitated. Which bloody stupid kid does this kind of thing for a prank!? I'm gonna strangle the daylights out of him! But then my mom called a few minutes later and told me that she managed to break the lock. OK, problem solved and I can resume my exercise. But I was wrong. Later around 8pm when I was about to have dinner in SS2, I received another call from mom who told me that some Ah Long had posted a warning message at our house! What the heck? What Ah Long? I don't remember borrowing any money from a loan shark? And I'm sure my mom didn't. What the heck is going on? Did my landlord borrow money from some Ah Longs?

But my mom told me that the paper they posted on my letterbox had another person's name on it. So clearly they must have found the wrong house because nobody else stays here except for the both of us. But upon hearing my mom being more frentic than before, I quickly rushed home to see what happened. Man, I never drove so recklessly as I did today.

Upon reaching home, she showed me the warning message which was this.


(Details were blocked out for obvious reasons)

Now I realised what the mistake was! My house is in Section 14 not SS14!!! SS14 is in Subang Jaya!!! How bloody stupid can the Ah Long's ma chai get? Don't they verify the place before placing this kind of stuff and putting glue in somebody's padlock? Don't they have a map of PJ in their car or something to help them find their way around town to avoid mistakes like this from happening? My poor mom! Seriously, where did the Ah Long get this kind of people from? Which kampung they come from?

Seriously they should give them a course on getting around PJ! Or have an entrance test before hiring them to make sure they are smart enough to differentiate SS14 from SECTION 14! Then, they will save themself from embarrassment with stupid ma chais making stupid mistakes like this! Geez!

Anyway, my mom put up reply messages (the ma chais put up a few of the warning messages around to make sure we notice it- on the lamppost, my letterbox and even my neighbour's garbage bin) for them in case they come back again and I can't help adding something extra notes at the end of it.



And to make sure that they get the correction messages when and IF they come back, we put it up on the lamppost, letterbox and my neighbour's garbage bin.



Sigh... I just hope that the ma chai can read BM and understand what I wrote.

Of course, we reported it to the police (at ss2 again) and the Inspector told us that it was an obvious mistake of the ma chai. He also said that not to worry so much because they won't do anything stupid like burning down the house or chopping off my mom's beloved plants. Geez! I honestly hope that it would not come to that.

Heard that the number of '$' on the warning letter determines how much a person owes the loan shark. Any idea about that? If an '$' equals RM10K, does that mean Mrs #$*&^@% owes RM11K?

Anyway it doesn't matter. Mr ma chai, by any chance if you're reading this I hope that you'll clear this up and send the message to the right person thank you. Sorry for calling you stupid. I didn't mean it. I'm sure you are just tired from all your hard work and made a small mistake today. That's all. I'm sure you're a good and hardworking fellow most of the time.

Mr Ah Long, I hope you'll find more competent individuals before hiring them. And send them for navigational classes please. Or at least buy them a map on PJ before sending them on errands such as this.

And Mrs #$*&^@, please pay up the money or at least call up the Ah Long and tell him that you don't stay in Section 14. Please don't make other people pay for your mistakes.

And to the others, please don't borrow money from Ah Longs. The interests will kill you. And I mean it literally. God~! Or not I WILL!